Dark (and others) posted some interesting commetns onthe IAR copy of this blog which can be found at
http://www.rubberist.net/forums/showthread.php?p=21079#post21079I reposnded there, but decided my response was drawn out enough to make a very nice post here. I hope the context is maintained well enough for the non IAR members to understand.
Well, I am certainly happy to have generated some many comments with my last entry. This blog is much more interesting to keep up when I receive feedback and discussions can ensue.
I should like to respond to some of Dark's comments below: He states that I seem to have:
No interest in food .
>>> not true...I love the taste of many foods. But in the context of my enclosure I may choose (or have chosen for me) to forego a meal to sty within my encapsulation reality...However, I eat later and quite happily.
Little or no interest in sports, or anything related to exercise
>>> I have never been interested in sports. However, i do walk outdoors a great deal. Do I have to run around and become sweaty to 'exercise'? The restriction of the latex (and its weight) provides quite sufficient exercise. By the way, in the last 11 months, I have lost a much needed 10 pounds and my blood pressure is down from the 145/95 range to the 117/75 range.
Littler or no interest in social interactions except to either freak people out... or see how indifferent they might be.
>>>I have no desire to freak people out. I am intrigued by and I report the reactions I receive. However, You are forgetting the very normal interactions I do have. I interact with store clerks and shopkeepers, as well as the neighbors on our street, I have a very convivial relationship with the lady running the antique store I have mentioned, I am in regular interaction with my colleague with whom I just finished co-authoring a paper, we have a small circle of very close friends who visit often, and i interact as often as possible with my child and my family. Exactly how many people must I interact with? I now notice almost no change in my day to day interactions with people except I do not have as many co-workers and students as I used to.
More focus on meditation and emotional withdrawal
>>> This is somewhat true ... I find i am meditating more and I am more comfortable now than ever before when I am gagged or silenced or restrained in some way. Of course, this level of comfort was always a goal of our exploration into total enclosure. I am very happy with this as it gives me quite a lot of think time.
More interest in being "objectified" and "non human".
>>>I would disagree. I am not MORE interested in these elements of my lifestyle...I am just MORE able to experience and enjoy them.
No interest in any sort of "normal" female aesthetic appeal as far as your body goes.
>>>NOT AT ALL! I am very interested in how my body appears. I love the shape I have under the latex and remember, I do not wear burqa or even loose rubber dresses all the time...I am quite often naked...that is sealed in only the transparent skinsuit. I am most pleased to have lost the weight and to have a very nice set of measurements now. My breasts have actually increased a size and my hips and thighs are better proportioned than they were a year ago
It is true that I no longer look at my face in the mirror, even enveloped in transparent latex. So I do not see how I look there. However, I am quite adamant that I should be made to look the way Sir wishes. and the last time I glimpsed my head and face, several months ago, I was quite pleased with the transformation. Sir, on the other hand, is enthralled by my shaved countenance.
Increased desire for bondage and isolation
>>>> yes, this is true...I find that lately I have been craving more restriction and restraint in my day to day life.
Increased focus in submission
>>>I do not agree...my level of submission has remained the same...absolutely total to Sir...btw, i do not submit to anyone else unless it is in the context of submitting to him...that is, he tells me to.
More attachment to being enclosed in rubber
>>>Yes...I am reaching a point where the encasement feels most normal now
Increased interest in eroticism and orgasm
>>>WHAT have I written to give this impression? If anything, I have less interest in orgasms...nothing wrong with them, but I find they are no longer as important. I do not feel I have to strive for an orgasm or a peak sensation...I seem to achieve post-coital bliss just by meditating or by being restrained in a scene with sir. That said, a good all round orgasm is a wonderful thing and, by the way, I have them more easily now than a year ago. I just do not write much about it because it is very private.
Some level of interest is such things as knitting or something like that.
>>>Knitting, embroidery, sewing, and many other textile arts. I have actually made many items this year that I did not have time for before I retired. Your comment denigrates these wonderful and wonderfully creative art forms that I have loved for many , many years.
Same level of interest in reading
>>> reading has always been a big interest for me...this has not changed
Same level of interest in popular culture
>>>>Yes, pop culture is fascinating. Adn we go out to cinemas, plays, ballet, lectures, and many other cultural events.
No interest to "return" to a more normal lifestyle
>>>What is normal? This lifestyle feels more and more normal to me. I do not know what return there would be...going about in jeans and a tee shirt? I have never worn slacks and do not like the look of them on women. Going about unhooded and unburqa'd but in rubber dress, gloves, boots, and corset? Well, that might be nice, I often used to dress like that, but I like wearing my hood and I enjoy my burqas too.
One thing I sometimes fantasize about is returning to the lecture hall to teach students again. Or attending a conference and delivering a paper. That would be fun. However, in my fantasy, I am still wearing my coverings and retraints, although i am not gagged most of the time...fantasies do not have to conform to rationality.
Again, in response to Dark's later comments, latex was Sir's fetish originally. While I have quite an extensive leather wardrobe and enjoyed wearig it immensely, at this time in my life, right now, I am wearing all rubber all the time to please my Dom. Tomorrow, he could develop a gingham fetish! And I would change
Latex is not easy to wear for this long. It IS somewhat problematic, but i have persevered with his support and my own desires to achieve the goals he set me. This is very much in the way of a vocation for me...I submit to him and try earnestly to do his wishes. Those happen to include latex enclosure...a lot nicer than if he wished me to be a fishmonger!
Rubber is essential to our experiment/project/lifestyle because it is our preferred fetish material. It also is different fro the others Dark mentions. It does NOT breathe, it IS smooth and somehow unnatural (although not, an intriguing contradiction), and it DOES aid in my transformation to object. It suits our fetishistic desires...otherwise, we would be living and playing with cotton..."the fabric of your life".
Why should our experiment/experience, etc take any different turn? We have achieved much of what we hoped to a year ago when we began this journey. And, again, for the record, we both take great joy in my effacement, my retreat from the world. Sir does not see me as a memory of a person; he sees me as the culmination of both of our aspirations for me.
It sounds, Dark, as if you are growing bored with my story. Sorry to disappoint, but like most real stories, it is just day to day life and not much else. I chose this entry to mention some of my internalized feelings and fantasies because I thought they would provide more interest.
These are HARD things for people to understand...but real nonetheless. Like the monks, and ascetics , and nuns, and hermits, and eccentrics, and anyone else who chooses to live differently, we find tremendous satisfaction in our life style without needing to explain it or conform it.
Regards
Lady