Thursday, August 25, 2005

The Psychology of Total Enclosure -- Part the First?

While we've been vacationing, I have been thinking about how to describe some of the more 'transcendental' experiences I have been having during my total enclosure time. It occurred to me this morning that I have been more contemplative and introspective this past week than usual, so, without goin ginto a lot of explicit sexual detail, let me try to examine some of my reactions and thought processes during thepast week's latex-oriented adventures.
Many of these particular practices I have detailed in earlier posts, but I thought I would go deeper into my emotional and psychological reactions to them.

First and simplest:
My reactions to being fully encased all the time. Now, after more than 7 and one half months, I can say that this sensation has both retained its tittilation appeal and at the same time become exceedingly normal. My reaction has been to both crave and expect it. There is an incredible sense of anticipation and excitement every morning as I awaken (always between latex sheets, even here on the island) and it is often satisfied with sex. I adore early morning sex with Sir or with maid (or with both) and then the long lazy sensations that follow.

I find that the clear latex suits are so thin that every sensation seems to come thorugh without attenuation even though I know this cannot be true. I suspect I now have either adapted and my sense of touch is actually more sensitive or I would find having nothing between myself and the world exceedingly (and perhaps painfully) amplified because my attenuated sense would be bombarded. Actually, I am fairly certain it is the former because I do not notice that water of my bath against truly naked skin being irritating or too hot/too cold. nor is the towel I am dried with too scratchy or rough. What I DO notice, however, is an incessant craving for maid to hurry up and get me back into my suit. I feel outrageously exposed now even for the hour I am out of the skin suit.

I do truly enjoy the intimacy of being shaved by her and particularly find head shaving while covered in latex elsewhere to be outrageously erotic. I have multiple orgasms during this little ritual. There is an incredible sense of well being as she shaves, then dries, then covers me in the rubber. I almost can't find words for it except to say that I always sigh with a tremendous sense of well being and relief when the thin, clear hood covers my face once again.

I do not notice my hoods. They seem like the most normal thing in the world now and even in the heat I generally no longer find them oppressive in the least. Of course, when Sir has me in three or four hoods and they are specifically intended and tightened or inflated to cause me to feel oppressed (in a sexy way) I do feel that. But my reaction to the skinsuit hood is that it is the normal way to BE in an existential sense. The same is true of my hands being gloved and my feet being footed (is that a word?).

I do notice my other clothing in a sense. Corset, dress, second gloves or hood, boots, etc are all very nice and I find I have a rather girlish tendency to twirl in the mirror after maid dresses me each morning. But it is the same sense I had years ago when I dressed in satin or silk. I love the flowing and the feel of the drape of a sensuous fabric and none is more sensuous than latex.

I still have some trouble when I must put on a second pair of gloves. I'm sure most of you know the issues with gloves not sitting just right so they slide up the fingers and such. Well that still happens to me from time to time, but I deal with it. chlorinating the clothes seems to have worked well.

With respect to other psychology around wearing latex all the time:
I find that being in latex for hours and hours does make me more contemplative. I have begun working on papers again, but this time I am thinking about them from the standpoint of theperson who must turn inward.

That is, I believe, because while I am working on them I am encased and often gagged and even restrained around the house. it changes one's perspective.
Being sealed in a vac bed is an absolute wonder. I often have maid put me in mine even when I have not been ordered to. The sensation is, I think I used the word above, transcendental. Very rapidly I drift away on a soft rubbery dream and have even found it annoying for maid to begin stimulating me sexually when what I really wanted was meditation. This sensation of annoyance, for some reason, is always highly transitory :)

I do enjoy meditaitng in latex enclosures...vac bed, suspension bag, even just in heavy bondage. And I find being gagged adds to the pleasure of this. I actually rather enjoy going through an entire day unable to speak to her or to Sir. The sense of being Other, of being an object is heightened for me when I do this.

A few times I have been suspended for over 24 hours and overnight. This sensation is incredible. I find that I drift off into a special 'space' that many submissives talk about achieving only under severe spankings or whippings. I can get there by being suspended in a latex bag and just allowed to drift in my rubber universe.

Sleeping:
I am typically put to bed in the skinsuit and a rubber nightgown. sometimes I am in bondage, but most nights I am not. I sleep very soundly between rubber sheets and duvet on rubber pillows and I DO have rubbery dreams. Mostly these are erotic in nature and very private, however, the other night I dreamt of returning to teaching and of walking into my class sealed in latex and covered with a burqa. The funny thing was that when i looked up, all the students were either in burqas or sealed in TE as well, and I was gagged...so I stood in front of them all and pointed with a laser pointer at a presentation on the screen for 30 minutes without making a sound. Interestingly, all the female students were gagged too, but the male students could ask questions...which I could not answer, of course.

Going out in public: I simply no longer think twice about wearing the burqa to hide my hooded face. When I interact with people in the outside world, I don't even think about the fact that they cannot see me. Of course, THEY do, but I have lost any inhibitions about it. When I am gagged under the burqa, I do remain a bit more all of, but I still buy groceries, books, look at cosmetics, shoes, and clothes, and interact as I have to with staff and others. I love visiting my friend who runs the Antique store and I love being out and about with maid.

I also find it very sexually stimulating to be out with Sir while I am in total enclosure and burqa. I enjoy the submissive sense of myself walking just behind him, keeping my head bowed, and occasionally doing things like kneeling next to his chair at a restaurant. We have been to the Halal restaurant in London that I wrote about a few times as we've passed through and it is SO Sexy to be submitting like that while there are other women submitting that way too.

Family:
I have been having a long drawn out email conversation with my parents and have to keep assuring them that my new lifestyle is working and I am happy and healthy. My sister seems to understand, our son applauds us in our choices (as does hif girl friend) and Sir's niece and nephew have given us a lot of encouragement. I know I will never make my parents completely comfortable with this, but one must lead one's own ,life. here's a dilemma though, that i dreamt of recently...what do I do if one of my parents dies and I have to attend the funeral? In my dream I attended in latex, but in the real world that would be tough.

I think that's all I have for the moment. However, if you, my dear readers, have questions please ask them and I will endeavour to answer them.

regards
Lady

7 comments:

Latex Lady said...

Dark
My parents are concerned that my choice of lifestyle may limit, hinder, or endanger me. They are not fetishistic themselves (to my knowledge0 and just find the concept of me enclosing myself in this manner too weird for words.

That said, they have adapted and ae communicative with me and with all of us. They have met maid and i suppose they have some idea of what a rubber clad girl of 26 is likely to be doing in our household.

But, no, we do not discuss BDSM with them. It WAS interesting watching a kinky episode of CSI with them while I was completely covered in latex sitting on the floor at Sir's feet. They are quite bright and I am certain they figured much of it out, but like most families, we do not discuss our sex lives across generations.

For all I know, mom dresses up as the mistress of pain every night :)

I know that my mother mentioned that they visited us to her friends at church, but yes, I doubt that she went into too much detail. However, she MIGHT have done with a close friend she has.

We keep coming back to this question of whether my lifestyle is limiting. It is not. I have found nothing I cannot do in public or private that I care to do.

I cannot drive in the burqa...but I don't want to.

I can't engage in traditional penetrative sex...but I don't want to

And I am neither isolated nor bored. Indeed, one of my personal fetishes is to BE an object for a long time (perhaps forever). I have been able to achieve a closer degree of this in the last 7 months than in the preceeding 30 years. But with respect to other interactions or things I can or cannot do, we have found nothing of significance.

We have been out to dinner with 'vanilla' friends and with Sir's business partners. We have visited relatives and family. We go to theater and cinema and museums. we aren't interested in sports, but if we were i am certain we could attend these too.

Can I work? I do not know? I suspect that here in NORCAL, I could, as Julia suggested, go back to teaching even in a burqa. But I have no desire to.

So I must say to you that you are wrong. My lifestyle does not isolate me any more than I wish it to. I feel protected by my layers of ruber, not isolated.

I suppose my question for you, Dark, is, "What do you think I should be doing that I cannot? What, in your mind, are my limitations?"

Regardes
Lady

Latex Lady said...

Well, on our vacation we actually did go out and play a round of miniature golf...I amd Ok in a burqa with a putter. We've never been big fans of the full game of golf...I don't see why I couldn't learn to drive and chip in rubber, though.

Horseback riding is completely possible. Many women in the mid east ride side saddle in abayas or burqas.

With respect to sailing, I had quite an enjoyable time on the deck of the launch enjoying the breeze with my flowing rubber robes billowing out behind me. Running around trimming sail on a sailboat MIGHT be a bit much, but then, I am more inclined to enjoy the ride than to work as crew :) I would suggest you try sailing sometime in a sleek latex catsuit instead of a neoprene wetsuit. Surely you have tried this already?

We have a cat. He is wonderfully aloof and at the same time loving and personable. He has never complained about my wearing latex. However, I don't see why I could not walk dogs in a burqa. Women walk dogs all the time in long coats and dresses...and contrary to what a lot of people think, my vision under the burqa is quite good.

I care for our cat (or maid does) on a regular basis. being rubbered makes no difference...of course if i choose, I can don a gas mask before cleaning his pan. :)

And as far as attending community meetings...why not? Unless paranoid council members barred me, I doubt it would be an issue. They might require me to uncover to a security guard, but I accomodate that at the airport all the time.

So I don't know of anything I couldn't do if I put my mind to it short of highly strenuous exercise that would overheat me.

For the things I LIKE to do, rubber enclosure has offered me virtually no issues and no hindrances. Some minor challenges, perhaps, but not what I would call serious obstacles.

regards
Lady

Anonymous said...

Hi Latexlady,

don´t worry about me trying out your underwater endeavours :) As a freediver I for myself am quite used to the feeling of being out of air and the way the body reacts to that - but I would never put someone inexperienced in that situation.

Also it was interesting to read about your feelings while being shaved on your head - encased in rubber. This sounds like a wonderful ritual. It does not look like you would be willing to give that up, would you ?

best wishes
gummitaucher

Anonymous said...

Dear Latex Lady:

I was very interested to read about the contemplative nature of your total enclosure. You are the first person that has described the beauty and sensuality of the rubber dressing ritual. I love the rubber dressing ritual since it is a doorway from myself to my rubberself- two very different entities.

In addition, it appears that TE in rubber has allowed you to slow down sufficiently to reach a more contemplative almost psychedelic state of mind. You aptly describe the beauty and transcendance nature of your TR experience to date. They again remind me of the Lilly isolation tank expereiences. I greatly admire you, sir and maid in embarking on this total and complete journy. I am curious whether you have identifed goals or eventposts to keep the TE procss moving forward. That is , how much of this journry is planned out ahead and how much is situational? In any event, I wish you much love and insight as u, Sir and Maid continue ur wonderful latex journey. Has anyone considered making a movie of this experience?

Latex Lady said...

Drblack
Thank you for the kind words.

I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment of the way TE has slowed me down. I have always been introspective; after all, what good is an unexamined life?

But this experience has encouraged me to take a very zen-like attitude toward experiences, rituals, and day to day life. Now, even making a ham sandwich is a carefully planned and precisely executed activity. It is how I imagine living in a zero g environment must be.

Being in the vac bed with my head in an inflatable hood, totaly removed form sensations of the outside world, I tend to drift into a dreamlike state. Sometimes I feel (and this is my goal) that my identity is disolving away and I am losing conciousness without losing sensation. That is I am losing the thing I call I.

we do not have a lot of plans in terms of goals or milestones. we have largely achieved eveything we originally set out to. But the experience remains so enjoyable and attractive now, that I can't imagine quitting. And we are still learning things.

As the creative minds in the alternative lifestyle community come up with more interesting devices and toys, I am sure we will find a way to keep exploring our interests. But beyond that, the peace of mind and meditative states I seem to live in now are very, very alluring.

regards
Lady

Anonymous said...

Lady

I am confident that the creative minds of the alternative world will create more exciting devices and techniques for exploration.

I always found it exciting that shutting down stimuli creates and opens up different sensations. The vac bed and inflatables make perfect sense to me in achieving that. Not to ignore the sheer mind blowing pleasure of it all!

I find the concept of blurring oneself very interesting. Do you ever fear that the loss of self would be permanent? If you know you can come back to the I, do you ever really lose the self? Or does the loss of the I require the concept of no return? I sure dont have any answers to this but was curious as to your thoughts.


Regards

Dr Black

Latex Lady said...

rubberjohn,
Thank you for the comment. Your description of the freedom of mind obtained by relinquishing freedom of body is very apt. I feel much the same way.

And there is no doubt that the choice to allow another person to block your access to traditional release does, indeed, increase the explosive power of non-traditional methods.

There are many times when I am not permitted to achieve such release in the 'usual' manner. However, what happens is a much greater and more relaxing flush of sensation and pleasure, often unaccompanied by any overtly 'sexual' feelings at all. being encasd in the latex for this amplifies the sensation and, I believe, the psychological catharsis as well.

For me, these mindgasms (for lack of a better term) are much better than any traditional release through intercourse, manipulation, or mastrubation and are made all the more intense by the subsumption of my identity, my ego, and my body into the latex encasement.

I literally feel like I am falling into the soft warm depths of a womb when this happens.

The fact that it is triggered through the ministrations of the man I have surrendered myself to makes it all the sweeter.

Regards
Lady