Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Some Responses to Dark

Dark (and others) posted some interesting commetns onthe IAR copy of this blog which can be found at

I reposnded there, but decided my response was drawn out enough to make a very nice post here. I hope the context is maintained well enough for the non IAR members to understand.

Well, I am certainly happy to have generated some many comments with my last entry. This blog is much more interesting to keep up when I receive feedback and discussions can ensue.

I should like to respond to some of Dark's comments below: He states that I seem to have:

No interest in food .
>>> not true...I love the taste of many foods. But in the context of my enclosure I may choose (or have chosen for me) to forego a meal to sty within my encapsulation reality...However, I eat later and quite happily.

Little or no interest in sports, or anything related to exercise
>>> I have never been interested in sports. However, i do walk outdoors a great deal. Do I have to run around and become sweaty to 'exercise'? The restriction of the latex (and its weight) provides quite sufficient exercise. By the way, in the last 11 months, I have lost a much needed 10 pounds and my blood pressure is down from the 145/95 range to the 117/75 range.

Littler or no interest in social interactions except to either freak people out... or see how indifferent they might be.
>>>I have no desire to freak people out. I am intrigued by and I report the reactions I receive. However, You are forgetting the very normal interactions I do have. I interact with store clerks and shopkeepers, as well as the neighbors on our street, I have a very convivial relationship with the lady running the antique store I have mentioned, I am in regular interaction with my colleague with whom I just finished co-authoring a paper, we have a small circle of very close friends who visit often, and i interact as often as possible with my child and my family. Exactly how many people must I interact with? I now notice almost no change in my day to day interactions with people except I do not have as many co-workers and students as I used to.

More focus on meditation and emotional withdrawal
>>> This is somewhat true ... I find i am meditating more and I am more comfortable now than ever before when I am gagged or silenced or restrained in some way. Of course, this level of comfort was always a goal of our exploration into total enclosure. I am very happy with this as it gives me quite a lot of think time.

More interest in being "objectified" and "non human".
>>>I would disagree. I am not MORE interested in these elements of my lifestyle...I am just MORE able to experience and enjoy them.

No interest in any sort of "normal" female aesthetic appeal as far as your body goes.
>>>NOT AT ALL! I am very interested in how my body appears. I love the shape I have under the latex and remember, I do not wear burqa or even loose rubber dresses all the time...I am quite often naked...that is sealed in only the transparent skinsuit. I am most pleased to have lost the weight and to have a very nice set of measurements now. My breasts have actually increased a size and my hips and thighs are better proportioned than they were a year ago

It is true that I no longer look at my face in the mirror, even enveloped in transparent latex. So I do not see how I look there. However, I am quite adamant that I should be made to look the way Sir wishes. and the last time I glimpsed my head and face, several months ago, I was quite pleased with the transformation. Sir, on the other hand, is enthralled by my shaved countenance.

Increased desire for bondage and isolation
>>>> yes, this is true...I find that lately I have been craving more restriction and restraint in my day to day life.

Increased focus in submission
>>>I do not level of submission has remained the same...absolutely total to Sir...btw, i do not submit to anyone else unless it is in the context of submitting to him...that is, he tells me to.

More attachment to being enclosed in rubber
>>>Yes...I am reaching a point where the encasement feels most normal now

Increased interest in eroticism and orgasm
>>>WHAT have I written to give this impression? If anything, I have less interest in orgasms...nothing wrong with them, but I find they are no longer as important. I do not feel I have to strive for an orgasm or a peak sensation...I seem to achieve post-coital bliss just by meditating or by being restrained in a scene with sir. That said, a good all round orgasm is a wonderful thing and, by the way, I have them more easily now than a year ago. I just do not write much about it because it is very private.

Some level of interest is such things as knitting or something like that.
>>>Knitting, embroidery, sewing, and many other textile arts. I have actually made many items this year that I did not have time for before I retired. Your comment denigrates these wonderful and wonderfully creative art forms that I have loved for many , many years.

Same level of interest in reading
>>> reading has always been a big interest for me...this has not changed

Same level of interest in popular culture
>>>>Yes, pop culture is fascinating. Adn we go out to cinemas, plays, ballet, lectures, and many other cultural events.

No interest to "return" to a more normal lifestyle
>>>What is normal? This lifestyle feels more and more normal to me. I do not know what return there would be...going about in jeans and a tee shirt? I have never worn slacks and do not like the look of them on women. Going about unhooded and unburqa'd but in rubber dress, gloves, boots, and corset? Well, that might be nice, I often used to dress like that, but I like wearing my hood and I enjoy my burqas too.

One thing I sometimes fantasize about is returning to the lecture hall to teach students again. Or attending a conference and delivering a paper. That would be fun. However, in my fantasy, I am still wearing my coverings and retraints, although i am not gagged most of the time...fantasies do not have to conform to rationality.

Again, in response to Dark's later comments, latex was Sir's fetish originally. While I have quite an extensive leather wardrobe and enjoyed wearig it immensely, at this time in my life, right now, I am wearing all rubber all the time to please my Dom. Tomorrow, he could develop a gingham fetish! And I would change
Latex is not easy to wear for this long. It IS somewhat problematic, but i have persevered with his support and my own desires to achieve the goals he set me. This is very much in the way of a vocation for me...I submit to him and try earnestly to do his wishes. Those happen to include latex enclosure...a lot nicer than if he wished me to be a fishmonger!

Rubber is essential to our experiment/project/lifestyle because it is our preferred fetish material. It also is different fro the others Dark mentions. It does NOT breathe, it IS smooth and somehow unnatural (although not, an intriguing contradiction), and it DOES aid in my transformation to object. It suits our fetishistic desires...otherwise, we would be living and playing with cotton..."the fabric of your life".

Why should our experiment/experience, etc take any different turn? We have achieved much of what we hoped to a year ago when we began this journey. And, again, for the record, we both take great joy in my effacement, my retreat from the world. Sir does not see me as a memory of a person; he sees me as the culmination of both of our aspirations for me.

It sounds, Dark, as if you are growing bored with my story. Sorry to disappoint, but like most real stories, it is just day to day life and not much else. I chose this entry to mention some of my internalized feelings and fantasies because I thought they would provide more interest.

These are HARD things for people to understand...but real nonetheless. Like the monks, and ascetics , and nuns, and hermits, and eccentrics, and anyone else who chooses to live differently, we find tremendous satisfaction in our life style without needing to explain it or conform it.


Return Home and 11 Months Encapsulated

We have returned from our vacation to see our son and all is well. We had our usual process through airports and I had no significant troubles.

However, I wanted to write today about something else. My attitudes toward the full enclosure and the fact that I am completing 11 months tomorrow in total enclosure.

I have begun noticing a tendency to withdraw into my little rubber world of late. Even this weekend, while out with family I was very quiet and twice I gagged myself before going out even though I did not need to. I actually sat through two meals with my son and husband gagged and silent, covered, and blinded (I wore the hood with zipper eyes and mouth and just zipped myself shut for an evening).

The psychological upshot is that, as I am closing out my 11th month, I have started to notice that I want more, not less, rubber in my life and that I want less, not more contact with the world. I have asked Sir to start letting me wear an inflatable hood under the burqa to reduce noise levels and to wear gags with mouth inserts so that I feel more cut off and limited than I have so far. In addition, I have taken to wearing a hobble skirt under my dresses as a slip. This adds an additional layer of latex and a much greater restriction level.

When he asked me why I wanted this, I told my son that I was finding that I was craving bondage and tighter control than I have typically been subject to for the last year. He and his girlfriend both indicated they agreed with this philosophy. Sir has indicated that I can expect more such restrictions on all my mobility then.

After we returned home yesterday, I had intended to run through a gamut of chores and such, but instead I found that by the time I boarded the plane I wanted to be completely cut off from the world, to meditate and drift in a sea of rubber sensation. I zipped myself closed again under the burqa and Sir actually led me off the plane blind and silent. I did not see anything again until 9am this morning.

Sir has talked about this before. It is a sense he gets when he is enclosed for long periods, but I had thought that I was over it. For several months, being enclosed has been the norm and I have felt that what I had was sufficient discipline, control, restriction, and submission.

Instead, this past two weeks I find I am wanting to dissolve into my rubber. I sometimes sit for hours staring at the inside of my hood, not moving,, arms behind me in an armbinder, legs tightly restricted in a leg binder or my whole body in an inflatable bag, unable to move, unwilling to speak, and un-desirous of sight.

I am having very complex fantasies and dreams about my rubber life now as well. These typically involve my continuing to be encased and dressed in more and more elaborate rubber costumes and restrictions. I was describing one of these dreams to everyone at dinner the other night (when I DID allow myself speech) and Wei was shuddering by the time I finished. She said that she had similar fantasies sometimes, but had never thought about being intubated and suspended in a tight Victorian ball gown out of latex such as I had described.

Sir has agreed to help me realize some of these fantasies next year during my second year of total encapsulation. I guess that means we are going forward with a second year of encasement. My own feelings are that I want to spend more and more of my time in restriction and bondage, not just latex clothing. Sir agrees with this.

We shall have to see where all this leads


Thursday, November 24, 2005

Thanksgiving with the Kids

Flew to LA this morning to see our son for Thanksgiving. We expected a larger crowd at the airport, but it was fairly quiet this morning.

I was in all black. The black burqa over a black open faced hood, black dress, corset, gloves and boots and a black catsuit with the grey transparent suit under it.

After we had our boarding passes, we arranged a private id check with security. They did not give me any problems, although the woman who checked my id in private said, "What is that? Rubber?" when she saw my open faced hijab style hood.

I told her yes and she asked why I wore it. I explained that I had to cover and doing so in rubber was to please my husband. She just shook her head and chekcked my ID. I am sure she thinks I am an oppressed woman with a misogynistic husband, blah, blah, blah.

I was wnaded and put through the extra checks for women in loose clothing as usual. No, there is no profiling go ing on...just any woman in a loose dress like a muslimah wears will be forced to submit to what Sir calls the "Anal Probe" option whether she has the dreaded four S's on her boarding pass or not.

Once into the terminal, I went into the ladies' room and fixed myself properly, covering my head with the transparent suit's hood, putting on a full head enclosure black hood, a half mask with no mouth (so I am gagged) and getting the burqa back in place. Much better than the half measures I have to adopt for airport security. I actually would prefer a hood with no mouth, but with the half mask gag I can remove it quickly in an emergency where I have to speak.

The hotel is quite lovely and we have been checked in successfully. The manager came down to show us to our room and was not the least put off by a woman in a burqa. He is mid-eastern and knew precisely how to act as he showed us to our suite.

The suite is also perfect. It has a room and bath just for me as well as the master bedroom. I unpacked quickly and then we went to meet our son and his girl friend for some shopping.

We met them at the mall. He, like Sir, was in rubber slacks and tee shirt. His g/f was in black and white. White tube top and wrist length gloves, black miniskirt and cropped jacket, all in shiny rubber. She wore knee high boots in black as well. With her short, spiky black hair and chinese features, she looked wonderful.

We browsed shops for a bit, ate a late lunch in a Rainforest Cafe (who were a little confused about four rubber-dressed folks bu took it in stride). I, by the way, am eating again, not just "tubing it" as sir says.

Several people have asked me abut how I eat in the burqa and hoods lately, so let me explain. I typically eat small meanls anyway. I cut my food (and yes, I cut it, with gloved hands out from under the veil) into small bites and place these on a small plate. I then take the plate in my left hand and a fork in my right, and bring both up under the burqa. This way I can eat easily in small bites, no one can see me, and Sir's rules for isolation and encasement are met.

We all had a lovely lunch, chatted about work and things going on in their lives, and his g/f and I exchanged notes on sme hoods she had recently acquired and what I thought worked best in posture collars.

After lunch, we sat around the hotel lobby for a bit chatting, watching the locals ogle us (such fun...everyone is always amazed when a voice emanates rom my burqa!) and then went out to see Happy Potter.

The movie was good, if a bit long. It is more adult and darker than the previous ones, but that's because the characters are growing up. The girls from the french school in their fitted dresses and half capes were especially well costumed, i thought.

Later, we went back to the hotel and the kids headed out. Sir and I retired to the suite and I spent the evening in some comfy bondage before being put to bed in my little room, tied to the bed. he put me in a pink nightie over my grey tint skinsuit and then bound my wrists and ankles and secured me to the bed. We bring our own latex sheets on these little ventures, so I had already remade both beds in rubber and he tucked me in. I slept like a dead thing, only waking this morning when he came in.

This morning, Thanksgiving, we have been lazing about. sir is bathing now and has allowed me to come over here and blog the past few days. We will meet with our sone again this afternoon for brunch, then Thanksgiving dinner later this evening. He and his g/f are treating us this year. her family is abroad and she is in town for the holiday.

That's as much as I have for the moment.

Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving to all


Thursday, November 10, 2005

A Week on the Emerald Isle

I have spent the last week in Ireland. It has been very interesting and the people are lovely. The weather has been wretched, unfortunatley, but I have ventured out shopping and site seeing a bit.

Sir surprised me with the trip on Friday last week, telling me and maid to get me packed and ready to travel. He has had business in Galway all week and I have spent much of my time in the room of the hotel. Monday was terrible weather. I tried to get out for a while, but the cold rain and gail winds were just too much. Actually, I was nearly blown away literally by the wind. I thought I was about to take flight.

However Tuesday was much nicer and we ventured out a bit in the afternoon for some shopping.

In the evenings we met with busniess colleagues of Sir, usually for dinner. However, I have not eaten at all this trip. He decided all my food should be liquid and piped in via tube. Those of you who have chatted with me in the evenings, I have been ingesting liquified mush most of the time I was chatting with you. usually pushing it into my stomach a few cc's at a time with a big irrigation syringe

Dinners are always fun because I am sealed, gagged, and burqa'd. The first night one of the colleagues was a woman and she kept asking me questions about it while I am sitting there unable to respond except with anod or shake of my head.

Whenhe takes me to dinner with colelagues, I am introduced as his wife (no name), it is expleained that I do not unveil nor do I speak or eat in public. Then he pretty much ignores me for the evening. i sit quietly and meditate or watch folks. My presence is distracting, though, and I think he feels it gives him an advantge in negotiating

If i am asked queries I respond with head movements or a shrug.

Most of the men are very distracted and the women are either disgusted or intrigued.

By the way, I saw a fair amoutn of veiled women in Galway and at the Dublin airport. about a 60/40 mix of nuns still in traditional habit, and muslim women, a few completely covered including their faces

All in all a good week. We had fun and saw some of ireland. Also have found new red burqa supplier and ordered one tonight from the airline lounge whilst waiting between flights. We have been looking for someone to make a new one. This wil be from Peter leth who is famous for his latex and pvc designs from Denmark. I am so happy to get one of his designs.

That is all for now...more later about the flights


Sunday, November 06, 2005

Halloween Cookies

I promised to write about yet another adventure in cooking in rubber.. As my long time readers may recall, a few months ago I made chicken fried steak one evening for me and maid..she was otherwise occupied. That attempt did not end in disaster, but it did include your humble author dressed in black latex from head to toe and dusted in white flour.

I have since mastered the art of cooking in latex which mostly involves me staying out of the kitchen. But from time to time I enjoy baking. I particularly enjoy baking cookies at holiday time. Halloween cookies, Swedish tea cakes at Christmas, that sort of thing.

So the other evening I decided I would bake Halloween cookies. Big orange sugar cookies with dark chocolate pumpkin faces. Sir was in a mood to relax in latex enclosure so after maid and I finished a session with him, we left him dosing in his vacuum bed in the playroom. We girls, on the other hand, went downstairs to bake cookies. Because it’s important, let me state here that we were both dressed totally in black including inflatable hoods with eye lenses and tiny mouth openings.

Cookie dough is much tamer with respect to flour and what not than chicken fried steak mix. We made several batches of cookies with no major incident. We were having loads of fun, chatting, and joking with each other. Maid has a great sense of humor and is always very affectionate and loving.

As we were cleaning up, maid became giggly at something I said. You’ve never seen anything stranger than a young woman in a full enclosure rubber hood, with the giggles. I honestly do not have words to describe how strange and funny she looked in a French maid’s uniform, black gloves, stockings and fat, inflated hood, laughing her head off.

Of course that got me laughing and then, before either of us knew it, maid grabbed a god of leftover orange dough and smeared it on my forehead and around my eyes. I retaliated by doing the same to her. Then she threw a glob at me and I did the same.

Within moments the 26 year old and the 50 year old were involved in a full on food fight with bright orange cookie dough! In a few minutes we both looked like weird pumpkin heads. Our faces completely covered in sweet orange dough, I could barely see through the lenses and we had made a mess of the kitchen.

Finally, we clamed down and stopped laughing. Then we took turns ‘carving’ jack-o-lantern faces in the dough on each other. It was hilarious.

As a final bit of fun, we went back upstairs to the playroom and released Sir from the vacuum bed. He was shocked and amazed, then started laughing too. Finally, maid and I went to clean the stuff off our faces.

So that was my adventure in cookie dough!


Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Halloween time -- and 10 months on

We had a wonderful time Saturday night to celebrate halloween. Followed by yet another culinary adventure Sunday as I tried to make Halloween cookies.

The celebration was both for halloween and to mark my 10th month in total enclosure. I have been very tardy in blogging things this past month, but there has been little to write about.
I finished working on a paper with my colleague Julia of whom I have written and it is being reviewed now.

Time to recap life a bit, I suppose. For new readers: I spend all my time completely enclosed in latex. At least a thin suit that covers head, hands, feet and everyting else. usually covered by a layer of undergarments or another catsuit, opaque gloves, opaque hood, and rubber boots, usually knee length.

Then there is a streetwear type of dress...full skirted, loose, ankle length, long sleeved, high collar. A posture collar sometimes and a gag much of the time but usually by my own choice now. To go out in public I cover all this with a latex burqa that hides all of me from sight. Burqas are in black, white, and red, but the red one has been torn by accident.

My DOM husband, Sir, and I started this regimen on Jan 1, 2005 and I have just completed 10 months. In those 10 months neither I nor he have seen my face or any other part of my body without at least a layer of transparent latex between. Nothing but rubber and bathwater have touched anypart of my skin.

We have a live in rubber maid, called maid, who has been in our service for 2 and a half years now. she dresses, undresses, bathes, feeds (sometimes) and takes wonderful care of me.

We have made our families and our son aware of my new lifestyle and in previous entries I have written about their reactions. the lifestyle is a D/s one and i have been sub to my husband for 30 years...we've been married that long too. he travels a lot for his business and occassionally takes me along. We have developed a travelling protocol which allows me (and even maid) to travel in total enclosure, under our burqas except for private ID checks by female security officers. To date, we have encountered almost no opposition or restriction. My most recent trip was to Tokyo.

I used to be a professional educator, but retired from that when we moved to the Bay area so that I could pursue this total enclosure life. It has been challenging, sensual, wonderful, and occassionally funny.

So that brings us up to date.

This month, I have had no skin or health problems except for a bit of arthritis pain in the shoulder as the weather has changed. By the way, Sir and i have both found latex to be a wonderful way to treat arthritis. The pressure and the warmth are very helpful to our joints when they act up.

Maid bathes me and dresses me each day as usual. The transparent suits are tinted grey, lavender, pink, or red. These rotate so that I am always wwaring a clean, dry one each day. Being dried well and put into a dry clean suti is the most important thing to avoiding skin problems during such long enclosure.

To celebrate 10 months of encasement, Sir took me to dinner Saturday night. We went to one of our favorite places and I was allwd to be ungagged and eat. However, I chose, as I often do now, to be gagged until the food arrived and to gag myself again when dinner was done. I ate, under the burqa as usual, by holding a plate with small buites on it and conveyin geach to my mouth while never removing the shroud or allowing my hands to be seen. I got a LOT of stares, but it is always fun to watch other patrons react. The staff know us now and never have any problem. In fact our waiter brought out my steak already cut into small bites.

We chatted a bit about Sir's day, his travel, my paper, and othe rthings of no consequence. finally, when dinner was done, I retired to the ladies to gag myself befor leaving the restaurant. While I was doing this, under the burqa, but in front of the mirror, another woman walked in. she was putting on lipstick as I was buckling my gag which is a half mask over my mouth and jaw. to watch us in the mirror was very strange i thought, but more so for the fact that we were both altering ourselves for the purpose of presentation to the world. She with bright red lips and I with silence and cover.

She stopped and stared at me for a moment when she walked in, but then just went to her sink and her reflection and began fixing her face just as I was fixing mine.
I then left and Sir took me back to the car and helped me in. He took us to a little theater in San Francisco next where we went in to see a performance of Rocky Horror. It was crowded, mostly with goths, and there was a fair amount of SM themed costume, lots of leather and lace and abit of latex. I, however, was the ONLY person there in a rubber burqa. Caused quite a stir.

While Sir was getting a drink (I remained gagged and so did not need one) I was approached by some kids probably still in university who wanted to know what I was wearing, why, how was I dressed underneath, etc, etc.

I tried to signal that I could not speak by putting my hands over the burqa at my mouth, but I wasn't getting through. fortunately, Sir came back and he explained I wasn't able to talk, yes I was in rubber and bondage underneath, and yes we had seen RH before...back in the 70's, the 80's and the 90's. The kids were, however, not impressed that we had seen the London production with Richard O'Brien because they had no idea who he was...ah youth, wasted on the young!

Sir was COMPLETELY up front with these young people about my level of bondage, encasement, and the whole 24/7 regimen. One of them scoffed, until he raised the burqa for just a moment. Not completely off, but enough to show my dress, boots, gloves, collar, and gag mask. "Man, that's sick" was the appreciative response!

The play was lovely if a bit amateurish. But then, the best RH productions are rough around the edges, aren't they?

Later we went to the home of some friends and had a lovely couple of hour visit with them.
These are our friends from witzerland who had their new orleans home destroyed by Katrina. That clean up and repair is still on going and they moved back to zurich, but decided to come back to the US and leased a town house in SF. This is good because it places them close enough for us to visit from time to time.

We had a lovely time there, then headed for home. We were exhausted and very relaxed when maid met us at the door and proceeded to get me ready for bed. Sir ordered me to be put to bed in my vacuum bed which I have not slept in for a couple of weeks. It was wonderful and i fell aslepp almost immediately.

Enough for now...I'll blog about Sunday in a while...let me just say...cookies are messy!