Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Return Home and 11 Months Encapsulated

We have returned from our vacation to see our son and all is well. We had our usual process through airports and I had no significant troubles.

However, I wanted to write today about something else. My attitudes toward the full enclosure and the fact that I am completing 11 months tomorrow in total enclosure.

I have begun noticing a tendency to withdraw into my little rubber world of late. Even this weekend, while out with family I was very quiet and twice I gagged myself before going out even though I did not need to. I actually sat through two meals with my son and husband gagged and silent, covered, and blinded (I wore the hood with zipper eyes and mouth and just zipped myself shut for an evening).

The psychological upshot is that, as I am closing out my 11th month, I have started to notice that I want more, not less, rubber in my life and that I want less, not more contact with the world. I have asked Sir to start letting me wear an inflatable hood under the burqa to reduce noise levels and to wear gags with mouth inserts so that I feel more cut off and limited than I have so far. In addition, I have taken to wearing a hobble skirt under my dresses as a slip. This adds an additional layer of latex and a much greater restriction level.

When he asked me why I wanted this, I told my son that I was finding that I was craving bondage and tighter control than I have typically been subject to for the last year. He and his girlfriend both indicated they agreed with this philosophy. Sir has indicated that I can expect more such restrictions on all my mobility then.

After we returned home yesterday, I had intended to run through a gamut of chores and such, but instead I found that by the time I boarded the plane I wanted to be completely cut off from the world, to meditate and drift in a sea of rubber sensation. I zipped myself closed again under the burqa and Sir actually led me off the plane blind and silent. I did not see anything again until 9am this morning.

Sir has talked about this before. It is a sense he gets when he is enclosed for long periods, but I had thought that I was over it. For several months, being enclosed has been the norm and I have felt that what I had was sufficient discipline, control, restriction, and submission.

Instead, this past two weeks I find I am wanting to dissolve into my rubber. I sometimes sit for hours staring at the inside of my hood, not moving,, arms behind me in an armbinder, legs tightly restricted in a leg binder or my whole body in an inflatable bag, unable to move, unwilling to speak, and un-desirous of sight.

I am having very complex fantasies and dreams about my rubber life now as well. These typically involve my continuing to be encased and dressed in more and more elaborate rubber costumes and restrictions. I was describing one of these dreams to everyone at dinner the other night (when I DID allow myself speech) and Wei was shuddering by the time I finished. She said that she had similar fantasies sometimes, but had never thought about being intubated and suspended in a tight Victorian ball gown out of latex such as I had described.

Sir has agreed to help me realize some of these fantasies next year during my second year of total encapsulation. I guess that means we are going forward with a second year of encasement. My own feelings are that I want to spend more and more of my time in restriction and bondage, not just latex clothing. Sir agrees with this.

We shall have to see where all this leads

Regards
Lady

13 comments:

facehood said...

Dear Lady,
very interesting opservations regarding the effect of long time total enclosure. But it will be a shame if next years further investigations of an even stricter way of life would prevent you from reporting your (and Sir´s) findings and feelings on a regular basis. In case you are for an extended time not able to blog, will you maybe consider asking Sir or Maid to communicate on your behalf?
May I pose a question to another subject: You have stated that religion is one of your interests. Does that meat that you are a believing person, or is it more the ritualistic and dressing aspects of certain groups within the Church that have your interest?

Thank you in advance and a cozy hooded December for you and your family,
Facehood

Latex Lady said...

Facehood
Thank you for the comment.

I am not a believing person. I was raised in a very strict, pre-vatican II catholic home and boarding school, but I lost all my faith as I went through college. However, the rituals and the magical thinking that accompanies religion are both very interesting to me and I am convinced that being raised a catholic has led, at least in part, to some of my fetishistic tendencies.

I have also compared my psychological reactions to a D/s lifestyle and to enclosure in rubber to the emotions and reactions some people report with respect to religious vocations such as joining a convent or living a monastic life. I believe that much of the same brain chemistry is involved.

Regards
Lady

Onij said...

Wow, very interesting indeed. A need to almost remove and close off yourself from the world. I hope your able to continue bloggin while you further emerse yourself to this new level of ; unexsistance; lol. Not really sure what to call it but it is very interesting. I hope you have a great week, and happy holidays, and no more baking for the time being lol

Theodore. said...

I have seen your attitude before, in a submissive I chatted with a few years ago. She had negociated a year long bondage contract with her husband as well, only hers wasn't rubber oriented as yours is.
But well into her year, she too felt that she had adjusted pretty much to her severe restrictions and wanted more.
What you are going through right now would would scare a beginner to death, yet it is perfectly normal for you now. Can you agree that maybe a part of what you are feeling is simply a result of your finally having completely adjusted to your new lifestyle conditions? It has become "normal" to you, and what you crave is always something more than "normal".

Dark said...

One thing you will notice in the BDSM world is the notion of pushing limits. Basically the deal is that if you don't push your limits, then you are simply coasting along and not really experiencing things like endorphins. As far as SM goes, I believe that the body's nervous system undergoes an "accommodation" or "recalibration"... effectively adjusting what the "normal" steady state condition is. We all experience this for example when someone with lots of perfume enters the room. At first the scent is very strong, but over time we may even fail to notice it. The scent has not gone away. What has happened is that our nervous system as re calibrated and accommodated to the stimulus.

Theodore's post actually touches on this idea of LadyII recallibrating her normal steady state existence to be one with lots of isolation, bondage, rubber enclosure and so on. Most of us would find this experience to be very intense and perhaps almost unbearable.. but over the year all this has become normal to her. And accordingly it is understandable that she may crave more because she is not as stimulated by what she does than she once was.

Lady... any comments on this?

Latex Lady said...

Oddly enough, I do not feel that I want more stimulation or that my senses have become acclimatized and therefore I need more rubber to respond.

My responses are still quite comfortable and very strong. This is rather a desire to seek less, not more.

I find I want the quiet of uninterrupted enclosure and restraint and isolation...I feel somewhat like I am seeking the "comfort of the tomb", the peace to be found in the Dreaming City.

You must remember that my restraint and our scenes do not involve me struggling to resist what Sir does...they involve me quietly complying, happily undergoing whatever rubbery encasement, isolation, inflation , or integuement he wants. My latest craving is for less stimulation, and just more of that comfortable compliance, that ability to surrender all needs and wants to his hands.

Regards
Lady

Dark said...

LadyII interesting comment about bondage/isolation. One thing which strikes me about almost all two dided deals..Ds and so on..is that each party can have a different motivation and pleasure "point".

I suppose for some who like to put others in bondage... seeing them struggle could be THE turn on.. whilst for others seeing their partner resigned and compliant as the are more and more bound could be THE turn on.

Same could apply to the person bopund who might enjoy the "struggle" and finality of restraint... or as you welcome in a "quiet way" the "imprisonment".

I do believe that rubberists who enclose are more in line with your type of bondage.. it brings them to some sort of inward state of sensual reflection and isolation... certainly different than the ropes and chains or cage type of "imprisonment". Speaking for myself, the idea of a cage holds no appeal compared to the idea of a TE suit. But of couse some people love both and can't have enough of either as JG Leathers demonstrates.

His coffin thing was so intense and well planned, that it seemed that any sort of struggle would have ruined the whole idea. That scene reminded me more of what YOU describe. Regardless I am amazed at how elaborate these "scenes" are... nothing spontaneous about them.

Aint Nothing But A She-Thang said...

Amazing...
I have always want to isolate myself from the world, but as of yet being a mommy to 2 lil entities wont allow this to happen....
All in all its interesting reading your experience with it.
And I applaud you on your zeal to isolate yourself even more.

Anonymous said...

congratulations and thanks :)

i have been reading your blog for a few months, and your increasing desire for restriction seems natural to me... i have progressed from ocassional latex wearing to daily hoods & gags over the past few years. (not all day, but for about 4-5 hours per day).

i hope you continue to blog your adventures as the intensity increases. your descriptions are very inspirational and comforting to someone like me who hopes to be on a similar path :)

-silent doll

Plasticcat said...

I think you guys are amazing!This is my dream come true only in shiny pvc suit inside and out sleeping 24/7. Can you tell me more about the psycological effect on you and your brain after long term enclosure. Are you really totally enclosed while sleeping? Can you email me and let me know your thoughts and that you are really for real. Thanks Cliff

Plasticcat said...

I think you guys are awesome!This is my dream come true only in shiny vinyl te suit inside and out shiny vinyl. Can you tell me more about your psychy and how your brain worked while in extended te. Can you get in depth about this? Did you actually sleep totally enclosed fantastic. Can you email me and let me know you are for real. Cliff

Splash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Splash said...

Updated-

Intubating your trachea for complete vocal silence? I and others have done so for breath control. It's possible to intubate yourself, problem is secretions need to be removed (suctioned carefully) from the tube every hour or so... Don't know how this would fit into your situation but comment to my blog if interested.