Friday, March 11, 2005

My Latest Challenge -- Bound and Blind for a week

I am not typing this. Maid is typing what I dictate to her. The reason for this is that I cannot see the keyboard.

When he left for Europe for a week, Sir left instructions for me to be kept hooded, occluded, and gagged for the entire week. In addition, I am in some extensive bondage each day. he is calling home each day and leaving instructions as to my 'wardrobe' for the following day.

A couple of days ago this involved a hood with no eyes and a blowup gag worn all day while I was also in bondage that kept me from using my hands or moving about freely (like I was going to do so when i can't see). That day I could not even dictate entries for maid to type.

Yesterday and today he has allowed me to wear just a thin eyeless and mouthless hood which means that, with effort, I can make enough intelligible noise that maid can type what I say. I actually chatted with some friends like this yesterday and will again later today. But I was tightly bound with my hands behind my back all day yesterday and spent severl hours in our suspension rig the day before.

Yes, I am being fed. And I am not sleeping with a gag down my throat...just this smooth hood.

And I am still following my hygiene protocol so there is about an hour a day when I am not so thoroughly sealed. But let me tell you, being blind for 23 hours a day is quite enough. I don't mind the gagging. I have become quite used to long term gagging. I have not spoken to anyone outside my home for almost three months now. But to spend all my time in darkness makes me certain I will truly appreciate the light when I see it again.

The sense of total helpless ness is extreme. Maid leads me around from room to room and I am spending a lot of time in bondage in our playroom, meditating. she also plays music through the house and this helps pass the time, as do our sessions together.

But not knowing what is coming is very exciting and I love the sense of anticipation. I wonder what I will have to experience tomorrow.

Ataraxia has asked that I discuss my motivations for this experiment. I have procrastinated because it is hard to describe motivation honestly...sometimes we don't really know. But the past few days of enforced mediation has given me time to consider.

I am involved in my lifestyle because of several things
1) I love Sir and he wants me to do this
2) I love submission and want to be in a submissive condition
3) It is terribly sexy and exciting...right up there with roller coasters
4) It is transgressive and I love to shock. I actually do revel in the looks I get out in the burqa
5) I love the feel of the rubber and want to know if I CAN do this
6) I want to experience objectification...being psychologically reduced to a sort of barbie doll
7) I'm almost 50 and having the most intense orgasms I've had in years :)
8) I love the weirdness of it all.
9) I love Sir and he wants me to do this

Ataraxia, does that help?


1 comment:

Onij said...

Wow, that is an extreme challenge. Im pretty much speechless about this post other than I know you can;t wait to see day light aggain. I totally agree with your 7 reasons of leading this lifestlye. Especially reason 3 through 8. Til then, or until you hear about this post. Take care , your #1 fan, Onij!.