First, let me say it is 11AM here and I am in the house as usual. I am dressed in a long black dress with fitted waist and full skirt, high collar and long sleeves. Under that I have on my corset and black knee high rubber boots with 5 inch heels. Under THAT, I am wearing a light grey tinted transparent full enclosure suit. For those who want to know, yes, I am catheterized and lightly plugged in both front and rear. The cath is clamped and not connected to a bag. Yesterday was a bit of an intense day of bondage, but today Sir has given me complete freedom of movement.
Sealed's last set of queries was:
Your right to call it 24/7 thank you for explaining your protocol in detail. It really gives me an insight. I hope everyone who visits your blog reads the comments as well as the main blog, as it helps to get the picture of how thoroughly thought out your lifestyle is I can so easily appreciate the idea of never being able to see yourself without latex or touch anything but rubber. 24/7. From my point of view its not so much obsessive as dedicated and inspired! More a latex devotion than mania?Do you (or Sir) think of it as a sort mind game? Is the point to think of yourself only in terms of the shiny latex object you see in the mirror? Or, is the idea to separate you from the real world a world less perfect than the latex world inside your suit? Is it a control thing you do it only because Sir says so? Maybe it none of these things, or all of them or maybe its not something it pays to spend too much time defining?It seems that so far you have not had as much difficulty with the lifestyle as many would have expected. Has it all been plain sailing because of your preparation / training, or are there times that you ever get desperate to just rip it all off? How do you work through these times? Do you get locked into the rubber or is it all self control?Do you have a set amount of time for your current 24/7 experiment and do you think you are going to make it? Do you know of any others attempting such a 24/7 lifestyle or are you unique?
Sealed is correct. I like to think I am more devoted to this rubber lifestyle than I am obsessed by it. In fact, as time goes on, I am forgetting that rubber is involved, in a sense. For example, I had to run out to the store this morning. After I dressed, I went downstairs, put on a pair of gloves and a gag and then threw my Burqa over my head and walked down to the store. I was literally half a block away before it struck me that I had put on gloves and gag the way other women put on gloves and hat. I honestly did not even think about how I would look in the burqa, how many people would stare at me or any of those things. This is normality now and I realized it suddenly.
The analogy I make is to moving not a new house. It is not 'home' at first. Everyday, when you get up, it seems unfamiliar, yours, but not 'HOME'. Then, suddenly, one morning it is HOME. The rubber lifestyle has assumed the same dimensions, I think. At first I was very sensitive to the fact that I could feel my suit resisting slightly when I moved, hugging me as I sat. Of course I've been wearing some rubber everyday for years, but I WAS very sensitive to the full enclosure and the fact I was gagged and out in public.
Suddenly today, I was HOME in it.
It IS a mind game, but one I play with myself as well as with Sir. I DO want to be separated from the outside world and I don't want it to intrude through my latex barrier. I am not a hypochondriac nor do I suffer from OCD, but being completely sealed makes me feel protected and at the same time, packaged...That I am an object for his use. This is, of course, the goal we've worked on for years and THAT is a apart of my D/s personality. I think in that case the latex is a means to an end. But the rubber encasement has become an end in itself as well. A way for me to be secure in a chaotic world. This also feeds into my desire to lose my ego, my humanity. I manipulate thigns, but I do not touch them. I am forever separated from the world of sensation, all sensation mediated by a layer of latex.
We went through a LOT of preparing and planning. Sir lays out these protocols to me in great detail (sometimes with drawings and such). He is meticulous because he wants to understand all the possible failure points in plan. and he wants me to understand his desires fully. This is DANGEROUS. If he doesn't plan everything right than a scenario could go badly or I could even be injured. So detail is part of the process. But, as I become more and more used to following the protocol, I become more and more secure in it and it becomes second nature. I suspect astronauts feel the same way...There is so much practice and preparation that when the real thing occurs, you don't worry about failure, you trust the protocol. Of course we all follow scripts through our day to day lives...Mine just involve total rubber enclosure now.
I AM locked into my clothes sometimes. Usually that is done with a collar and a belt of some sort as my dresses and enclosure suits are too thin to support any kind of solid hasp. And that would be prohibitively expensive to have locking and non-locking versions. Mostly, though, it is self control. Early on there were times when I just wanted to rip it all off, particularly back in Texas where it got too hot. I worked my way through those with his support and by concentrating on my desire to fulfill his requests.
Since coming here, I have not had those sensations and indeed, after particularly intense physical activity I tend to want to curl up in another layer of latex...A rubber sheet or comforter or my kimono or a robe...Just to let the sensation of my rubber skin being touched by Sir settle into normalcy again. Imagine post coital sensitivity...You are just too sensitive to be touched by your lover again for a few minutes...Now imagine that you are like that and yet you ARE being touched all over your body by thousands of hands. The only solution is the weight and feel of something soft and loose and comforting.
We have no set time limit on this experiment. I know he wants me to be like this for at least a year if I can tolerate it. Right now, it is becoming so normal that I see no problem with that. One issue would be if we had to move somewhere else where the weather was not as conducive to total enclosure. But we will swim that Tiber when we come t it.
I believe that there are some people in Germany who have tried the same fulltime lifestyle. Lioba and her Puppe, but I don't know if that is as real. We have never paid for access to the inner workings of her site. I would not be surprised if some Austrian rubberists are involved in deep immersion lifestyles. The Austrian fetishists I have met are serious and dedicated to their fetishes.
People are strange. All people. And I would not be surprised to hear of others, to find that there is a quiet underground of people attempting to alter their lifestyles in this manner. We see people doing it in the form of body modification, religious conversion, and other extremes of identification. It seems that in a world where we are told we are being homogenized into oblivion, people seek to establish identity in more and more extreme manners. This is probably normal.
I think it's a good thing.