Friday, January 14, 2005

Answers to Sealed's Queries

I thought I would answer Sealed's last comment in a new Post as I did with some of Dark's earlier because the commenting thread was becoming too long for casual readers to get into.

First, let me say it is 11AM here and I am in the house as usual. I am dressed in a long black dress with fitted waist and full skirt, high collar and long sleeves. Under that I have on my corset and black knee high rubber boots with 5 inch heels. Under THAT, I am wearing a light grey tinted transparent full enclosure suit. For those who want to know, yes, I am catheterized and lightly plugged in both front and rear. The cath is clamped and not connected to a bag. Yesterday was a bit of an intense day of bondage, but today Sir has given me complete freedom of movement.

Sealed's last set of queries was:
Your right to call it 24/7 – thank you for explaining your protocol in detail. It really gives me an insight. I hope everyone who visits your blog reads the comments as well as the main blog, as it helps to get the picture of how thoroughly thought out your lifestyle is I can so easily appreciate the idea of never being able to see yourself without latex or touch anything but rubber. 24/7. From my point of view it’s not so much obsessive as dedicated and inspired! More a latex devotion than mania?Do you (or Sir) think of it as a sort mind game? Is the point to think of yourself only in terms of the shiny latex object you see in the mirror? Or, is the idea to separate you from the real world – a world less perfect than the latex world inside your suit? Is it a control thing – you do it only because Sir says so? Maybe it none of these things, or all of them – or maybe it’s not something it pays to spend too much time defining?It seems that so far you have not had as much difficulty with the lifestyle as many would have expected. Has it all been plain sailing because of your preparation / training, or are there times that you ever get desperate to just rip it all off? How do you work through these times? Do you get locked into the rubber or is it all self control?Do you have a set amount of time for your current 24/7 experiment and do you think you are going to make it? Do you know of any others attempting such a 24/7 lifestyle or are you unique?

Sealed is correct. I like to think I am more devoted to this rubber lifestyle than I am obsessed by it. In fact, as time goes on, I am forgetting that rubber is involved, in a sense. For example, I had to run out to the store this morning. After I dressed, I went downstairs, put on a pair of gloves and a gag and then threw my Burqa over my head and walked down to the store. I was literally half a block away before it struck me that I had put on gloves and gag the way other women put on gloves and hat. I honestly did not even think about how I would look in the burqa, how many people would stare at me or any of those things. This is normality now and I realized it suddenly.

The analogy I make is to moving not a new house. It is not 'home' at first. Everyday, when you get up, it seems unfamiliar, yours, but not 'HOME'. Then, suddenly, one morning it is HOME. The rubber lifestyle has assumed the same dimensions, I think. At first I was very sensitive to the fact that I could feel my suit resisting slightly when I moved, hugging me as I sat. Of course I've been wearing some rubber everyday for years, but I WAS very sensitive to the full enclosure and the fact I was gagged and out in public.

Suddenly today, I was HOME in it.

It IS a mind game, but one I play with myself as well as with Sir. I DO want to be separated from the outside world and I don't want it to intrude through my latex barrier. I am not a hypochondriac nor do I suffer from OCD, but being completely sealed makes me feel protected and at the same time, packaged...That I am an object for his use. This is, of course, the goal we've worked on for years and THAT is a apart of my D/s personality. I think in that case the latex is a means to an end. But the rubber encasement has become an end in itself as well. A way for me to be secure in a chaotic world. This also feeds into my desire to lose my ego, my humanity. I manipulate thigns, but I do not touch them. I am forever separated from the world of sensation, all sensation mediated by a layer of latex.

We went through a LOT of preparing and planning. Sir lays out these protocols to me in great detail (sometimes with drawings and such). He is meticulous because he wants to understand all the possible failure points in plan. and he wants me to understand his desires fully. This is DANGEROUS. If he doesn't plan everything right than a scenario could go badly or I could even be injured. So detail is part of the process. But, as I become more and more used to following the protocol, I become more and more secure in it and it becomes second nature. I suspect astronauts feel the same way...There is so much practice and preparation that when the real thing occurs, you don't worry about failure, you trust the protocol. Of course we all follow scripts through our day to day lives...Mine just involve total rubber enclosure now.

I AM locked into my clothes sometimes. Usually that is done with a collar and a belt of some sort as my dresses and enclosure suits are too thin to support any kind of solid hasp. And that would be prohibitively expensive to have locking and non-locking versions. Mostly, though, it is self control. Early on there were times when I just wanted to rip it all off, particularly back in Texas where it got too hot. I worked my way through those with his support and by concentrating on my desire to fulfill his requests.

Since coming here, I have not had those sensations and indeed, after particularly intense physical activity I tend to want to curl up in another layer of latex...A rubber sheet or comforter or my kimono or a robe...Just to let the sensation of my rubber skin being touched by Sir settle into normalcy again. Imagine post coital sensitivity...You are just too sensitive to be touched by your lover again for a few minutes...Now imagine that you are like that and yet you ARE being touched all over your body by thousands of hands. The only solution is the weight and feel of something soft and loose and comforting.

We have no set time limit on this experiment. I know he wants me to be like this for at least a year if I can tolerate it. Right now, it is becoming so normal that I see no problem with that. One issue would be if we had to move somewhere else where the weather was not as conducive to total enclosure. But we will swim that Tiber when we come t it.

I believe that there are some people in Germany who have tried the same fulltime lifestyle. Lioba and her Puppe, but I don't know if that is as real. We have never paid for access to the inner workings of her site. I would not be surprised if some Austrian rubberists are involved in deep immersion lifestyles. The Austrian fetishists I have met are serious and dedicated to their fetishes.

People are strange. All people. And I would not be surprised to hear of others, to find that there is a quiet underground of people attempting to alter their lifestyles in this manner. We see people doing it in the form of body modification, religious conversion, and other extremes of identification. It seems that in a world where we are told we are being homogenized into oblivion, people seek to establish identity in more and more extreme manners. This is probably normal.

I think it's a good thing.

Regards
Lady


9 comments:

Dark said...

Lady,

First, I want to thank you for your very insightful and informed responses to the comments as well as your blog entries themselves. They are wonderful!

You and Gent are obviously engaged in what anyone would call an extreme "situation". What may be "passing" sensations or emotions for everyone else, are for you minute to minute, hour by hour and day by day. You are very much departed from what is "normal" for the rest of us. In some ways what you do is analogous to what moslem women do for example. In other ways your level of "submission" also puts you in a very different head space than most people who although they may be submissive... usually go there during a scene... and may not be the least bit submissive except with their dominant. So much of what you do intersects and reinforces an another aspect of your "experiment".

To many... or perhaps most rubberists... the experience seems to have some of it's appeal in the CONTRAST than if offers to naked skin or normally clothed skin. You no longer have the experience of "normal" skin sensations and certainly not the sensations of being normally clothed or sleeping on cloth for example. I keep coming with new interesting things I would like you to comment on.

Without the contrast / reference to "normal" skin feelings how has your skin's nerves transformed / adapted as a result of this "training". For example, When I put tight rubber on I get a whole new sensation to my skin. As long as it is on my skin reports differently that when naked or clothed.. but over time it does tend to "change". For me often the sensual feelings give way to discomfort and then I make the calculus that I am not getting the physical sensations and so it is time to remove it... and then when I am "relaxed" go for it again. Usually measured in hours or more likely days.

Orgasm experiences are similar as you point out and we... especially males have a refractory period before which we are almost "immune" to sexual arousal from tactile sensation. My rubber experiences are somewhat analogous to this. I go through up and down cycles of heightened sensitivity. But what happens in your case... you are in rubber 24/7? Is your rubber experience becoming more and more a mental exercise and less and less one of "sensuality". Isn't there a dimunition of sensation... or a "severe" alteration of sensation when you are inside so many layers? Surely the nervous system is adaptive and become habituated to stimuli... tight total enclosure would seem to apply.

As you know when we are addicted to substances a similar process is at work. We require increased stimuli to acheive the same level of response... and for many the addiction becomes more an avoidance of withdrawal pain ... than for the pleasurable response which led to our addiction.

You would be the one to address these issues because you are one of the only persons who can speak from personal experience and is intelligent enough and self aware and reflective enough to shed light on this.

Best to you and Gent,
Dark

Anonymous said...

Your continuing story here sure makes for interesting reading - actually I find the concept of a rubber burqua quite interesting - you wouldn't happen to have any photo of it, would you? I would really love to see it!

Greetings...
AlexX
www.l-a-tex.de

Anonymous said...

Dear Latex Lady:

I have been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now, and I have to tell you that I find your lifestyle fascinating. I am of the ilk "to each their own." While I don't think your choice would be something I could do, I thank you (and Sir for allowing you) for posting about your lifestyle and what it entails. Thank you again for allowing me a glimpse into your lifestyle. Do you mind if I link you to my blog page for others to read?

Latex Lady said...

Thank you all for the comments. I have no problem with any of you linking to my blog, please do. I do ask that, If you excerpt any of it into your own pages or publications, you please provide me with attribution by attaching the blog's link to the excerpt as well.

Lady

Onij said...

Wow, you are truly a inspiration to latex lovers and rubberist all over.

Onij said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JudiBootie said...

Dear Latex Lady:

Thank you for the pleasure of linking you to my blog. I enjoy reading your Diary, and look forward to more entries. I was the "anonymous" poster above; I don't know why my comment was not posted under my user name.

Sealed said...

The more I find out about your lifestyle, the more my admiration increases and the more intrigued I am by the details of your lifestyle. You really are approaching this in a impressively holistic way. A way that I feel I totally understand. Envious of, and yet in awe some of.

The fact you now find gloves and gag your normality now, realizing suddenly you were HOME in it and yet this fact does not distract from the experience was fascinating. I too feel most at home totally encased in rubber – and luckily I am for many hours most days. I have not really got to the point yet where it feels totally “normal” very often. In fact it usually still feel a little special…

When I read your entries, I realize just privileged we are to have found our way to latex. Phrases like home, latex a barrier stopping outside world intruding, protected all ring bells with my unconscious mind.

In losing your ego / humanity and direct connection with the world, are you trying to become a detached observer, looking in from a latex universe into a mainly non-latex universe. Or are you trying to become something specific – like a non-human latex animal or an inorganic lifeless or mechanical rubber clad sex object? Are you aiming to be able to completely switch off your own persona and drives and take on Sir’s replacement personality?

I am interested in the details of the protocols set out for you. I wonder if in time you could details some more of these. Particularly the ones where you have assess some kind of risk…

I was struck by your passage about how you deal with the intense sensitivity post coital. Curling up in another layer of lose soft rubber. It would seem that this may be an approach worth trying by rubber men as well. Lots of us seem to have an instinct to rip our latex suits off once we have “delivered” – only to regret it a few minutes or hours later. Seems the latex really does form a hyper-sensitive second skin at these moments – and you have found a way of dealing with.

You mentioned “catheterized (no bag) and lightly plugged in both front and rear”. I was waiting for you to mention this before asking advice. If you feel comfortable talking about this, could you explain your protocols for dealing with bodily waste – as I feel certain this is something you will have spent some time organizing. Or are these arrangements part of your submission, rubberisation or for gratification? Maybe you are relaxed about bodily functions and don’t consider them a count against a 24/7 lifestyle? I often think that women have it slightly easier with bodily waste than men when totally sealed up – am I right? My own current solutions are not very, err – satisfactory, shall we say…

A year is a great first target. By then you will have had every event and weather to deal with. The early acceptance by your Son of your lifestyle must make this more easier for you - and I hope that everyone else you will need to see in the next year adapt easily to your choice.

Incidentally – I wonder if you could explain about isolation though being unable to talk while out in public. Was this a price that you must pay – as part of being a good obedient slave. A major inconvenience and a means of making you not do something you would want to do- in order to demonstrate that you are truly sub to Sir? Or is the isolation and hindrance to communication an end in itself – part of the loss of ego? Are there people you are allowed to talk to (in person, on phone or online)? Have you found this isolation a challenge and so you ever feel lonely?

I for one am glad you managed to create the non-homogenized identity you have established with your followers. If nothing else, I feel less alone and more fortunate (if somewhat amateur) to be a part-time home-worker latex lifestylist!

Good luck,
Sealed

STEFFY Canada said...

Hello Lady,
I concur whole heartedly with your comments in this recent post. I just returned from doing a four day trade show called The Taboo Sex Show in Vancouver Canada and had a very good time of it, staying with my good friend JG Leathers.

Your comments about being separated from the outside world is a very real one in the sense that even though I may be IN PUBLIC ( I was both on stage in the fashion shows and walking amongst the general public) I felt removed from it by my encasement and sometimes feeling like I am looking out of two portholes from within my rubber persona. I too have now gained the sense of home when dressed and it feels natural to be that way and I am not at all self conscious about it. Others I am with may feel self conscious by being in my immediate presence, but that is because I think that they themselves are not comfortable with their fetish yet. As for wanting to rip it all off...there have been times when I have become very, very uncomfortable due to heat and I have had to mentally control the panic and calm down and relax to deal with the enclosure. I am in full and total enclosure anytime I am seen as STEFFY, although it may not me readily apparent. I find that the tight outfits take more dicipline to wear as the comfort level diminishes with the tightness of the outfit. The loose ones are much easier to stay in for long periods of time.

I take my hat off to you as I know of what you are experiencing.. only I am not doing it 24/7. BRAVO!
Rubber Hugs,
STEFFY